October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For that reason I want to devote my column to this very timely topic. I am going to base this column on a statement issued by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, which is entitled “When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence against Women.” Our bishops state that domestic violence is any kind of behavior that a person uses to control an intimate partner through fear and intimidation. It includes physical, sexual, psychological, verbal, and economic abuse. The bishops provide some examples of domestic abuse: battering, name-calling and insults, threats to kill or harm one’s partner or children, destruction of property, marital rape, and forced sterilization or abortion.
Younger, unmarried women are at the greatest risk for domestic violence. Women ages 16 to 24 are nearly three times as a vulnerable to attacks by intimate partners as those in other age groups. Abuse victims between 35 and 49 run the highest risk of being killed. Some women face particular obstacles. Women of color may not view the criminal justice system as a source of help. Additionally, in some cultures women feel pressured to keep problems within the home and keep the family together at all costs. Some fear that they will lose face in the community if they leave. Immigrant women often lack familiarity with the language and legal systems of this country. Their abusers may threaten them with deportation.
Women in rural communities may find themselves with fewer resources. The isolation imposed by distance and lack of transportation can make their situation more serious. Isolation can also be a factor for women who do not work outside the home. They may have less access to financial resources and to information about domestic violence. Women with disabilities and elderly women are also particularly vulnerable to violence.
Some who suffer from domestic violence are also victims of stalking, which includes following a person, making harassing phone calls, and vandalizing property. Eight percent of women in the United States have been stalked at some time in their lives, and more than one million are stalked annually. Stalking is considered a unique crime because stalkers are obsessed with controlling their victims’ actions and feelings. A victim can experience extreme stress, rage, depression, and an inability to trust others.
Domestic violence is often shrouded in silence. People outside the family hesitate to interfere, even when they suspect abuse is occurring. Many times even extended family members deny that abuse is taking place, out of loyalty to the abuser and to protect the image of the family. Some people still argue—mistakenly—that intervention by outside sources endangers the sanctity of the home. Yet abuse and assault are no less serious when they occur within a family. Even when domestic violence is reported, sometimes there are failures to protect victims adequately or to punish perpetrators.
To learn more about the Catholic response, visit the U.S. Bishop’s website for their Pastoral Letter: “When I Call for Help” (http://bit.ly/usccb_dv) If you or a family member or friend needs help now, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800‐799‐7233 (24 hours); 800‐787‐3224 (TTY); www.ndvh.org. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Until next week,
Fr. John Dillon