On Friday, January 21, 2022, a seventeen year old student shot a fifteen year old student at Colonel Zadok Magruder High School. This has been a very traumatic event for the Magruder community of which includes many families from this parish. I was reading through guidelines produced by the National Child Traumatic Stress Network and thought that I would share a few of their tips of things that we can do for ourselves and things that we can do for our children after experiencing a school shooting. First let’s talk about things that we can for ourselves: ·Taking care of ourselves. You should do our best to drink plenty of water, eat regularly, and get enough sleep and exercise. ·Helping each other. You should take time with our adult relatives, friends or members of the community to talk or support each other. ·Putting off major decisions. You should avoid making any unnecessary life-altering decisions during this time. ·Giving ourselves a break. You should take time to rest and do things that we like to do. Now, let’s talk about things we can do for our children: ·Spending time taking with your children. Let them know that they are welcome to ask questions and express their concerns and feelings. You should remain open to answering new questions and providing helpful information and support. You might not know all the answers and it is OK to say that. At the same time, don’t push them to talk if they don’t want to. Let them know that you are available when they are ready. ·Finding time to have these conversations. Use time such as when you eat together or sit together in the evening to talk about what is happening in the family as well as in the community. Try not to have the conversations close to bedtime, as this is the time for resting. ·Promoting your children’s self-care. Help children by encouraging them to drink enough water, eat regularly, and get enough rest and exercise. Let them know it is OK to take a break from talking with others about the recent attacks or from participating in any of the memorial events. ·Helping children feel safe. Talk with children about their concerns over safety and discuss changes that are occurring in the community to promote safety. Encourage your child to voice their concerns to you or to teachers at school. ·Maintaining expectations or “rules.” Stick with family rules, such as curfews, checking in with you while you are with friends, and keeping up with homework and chores. On a time-limited basis, keep a closer watch on where teens are going and what they are planning to do to monitor how they are doing. Assure them that the extra check-in is temporary, until things stabilize. ·Addressing acting out behaviors. Help children/teens understand that “acting out” behaviors are a dangerous way to express strong feelings over what happened. Examples of “acting out” include intentionally cutting oneself, driving recklessly, engaging in sexual behavior, and abusing drugs or alcohol. You can say something like, “Many children and adults feel out of control and angry right now. They might even think drinking or taking drugs will help somehow. It’s very normal to feel that way—but it is not a good idea to act on it.” Talk with children about other ways of coping with these feelings (distraction, exercise, writing in a journal, spending time with others). ·Limiting media exposure. Protect your child from too much media coverage about the attacks, including on the internet, radio, television, or other technologies (e.g., texting, Facebook, Twitter). Explain to them that media coverage and social media can trigger fears of the attacks happening again and also spread rumors. Let them know they can distract themselves with another activity or that they can talk to you about how they are feeling. You can check the website of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network for these points and additional information: www.NCTSN.org. Until next week, Fr. John