January 21, 2024 - "Parish Etiquette at Mass"

As we begin a new year, I thought that I would devote the next several columns to the topic of parish etiquette at Mass.  Barbara Budde, Director of Social Concerns for the Diocese of Austin, Texas, wrote a pamphlet on this topic for the National Pastoral Life Center several years ago. When the National Pastoral Life Center closed in 2009, I contacted Ms Budde to ask if I could use material that she had written in that pamphlet on occasions such as this.  With her blessing I am sharing some of her thoughts on the topic of parish etiquette.  Today I shall spend the rest of this column talking about some general remarks about cultivating good parish etiquette.
 
Etiquette Concerns Habits
A former missionary priest once told this story of his work among a people whose lives were not ruled by chronological time.  A baptism had been scheduled in a particular village.  The hour came, and the priest, ready and waiting, invited those present to gather for the ceremony.  Someone told him that it was not yet time.  He consulted his watch and pointed out that it was the agreed upon hour, but the villagers would not let him begin.  He discovered that among this people it was appropriate to begin only when everyone from the surrounding villages had arrived.  He had to learn a new etiquette.
 
Decades ago, it was considered a good habit for a woman to carry a chapel veil in her purse to avoid the embarrassment of needing to pin a tissue to her hair.  No longer.  Today’s world demands a new set of habits.  The suggestions offered here [over the next few weeks] are simple reminders, intended to help all parishioners develop the habits that make our common worship full, rich, and prayerful.
 
Naturally there may be times when we arrive late, are unprepared, are dressed inappropriately, or forget to silence some electronic device that we’ve brought.  Sometimes our children will be too noisy or fidgety.  And accidents happen.  How we act on such occasions is part of etiquette.  But in the main etiquette concerns habits, not the rare slip or unavoidable occurrence.
 
Everyone who worships wholeheartedly and without needless distraction will appreciate the cultivation of good parish etiquette.  All it takes is charity and practice.
 
Until next week,
Fr. John